Tell us about a time when you were about to lose your cool with a member of the public. How did you manage to calm down and handle the situation politely?

We published responses to this question in our March-April 2010 Coffee Break. You sent us so many helpful tips that we couldn't fit them all in the magazine!

Here are some more of your answers:

Tell Us Your Thoughts!  Answer our next Coffee Break question If your response is chosen for publication, you will be entered into a drawing to win a free coffee break (valued at $50) for your organization.

Dogs and cats come in all the time in terrible shape. My first reaction was to get angry. I took a step back and realized my bottom line is I'm here for the animals, not the people. When I was handed a small dog that had what looked like months of dried feces stuck to his back and legs and [he was] crying in pain, I safely and slowly cleaned him up and told the owner very calmly that if he did not want the dog anymore or did not have the time for him that I would love to have him. Two days later the owner brought the dog to me. He now lives with owners that absolutely love him. All’s well that ends well.
—Nancy Lancaster, Groomer/Owner, The Rainbow Co., Smithville, Texas

A woman was convinced she would have to relinquish her 16-year-old cat because she was moving from Washington to California. Having moved across country with my cats, I told her my experience and offered her a large, secure carrier. After much conversation, she agreed! E-mails followed: "Bonne, I am the person who didn't think I could bring my cat with me to San Diego and you helped with a kitty carrier and hints on how to complete the journey. Both me and my cat have successfully arrived in San Diego. The trip was actually very easy as long as we let Cougar ride in the front seat with us! We are adjusting to our new lives here, which would not have included my wonderful cat if it had not been for your help. We both thank you very, very much. Jo Spaulding." Jo, I could not have been happier to hear from you! I want to thank you for believing it could work and taking the steps to bring your beloved cat along in your move. I'm so thankful that you called MEOW Cat Rescue that day. The Cat Gods must have had a hand in all of this. I wish you and Cougar much happiness in the rest of your lives together.
—Bonne VeVea, Director, MEOW Cat Rescue, Kirkland, Washington

When I came upon the three starved pit bulls dead and still on their chains in his backyard, it took a lot to politely discuss the gruesome facts with the dogs' owner. As usual, the owner had one excuse after another about why he simply stopped providing food and water to the animals. A deep breath and some introspection reminds me in these situations that people who neglect animals have reasons, sometimes based on the lack of care they received in their own lives or because of mental diseases and substance addictions left untreated. It doesn't excuse their cruel behavior, but by keeping in mind the owner's possible limitations, and keeping my cool in the face of a horrible scene, I was able to get the dead dogs signed over to PETA’s custody and successfully prosecute the owner: He has been court-ordered to obtain counseling and is forbidden from owning animals for the next five years.
—Daphna Nachminovitch, Vice President, PETA, Norfolk, Virginia

Any time a person returns a cat to us for a silly reason, I always keep in mind that they could have abandoned them outside or done something way worse with them. But them returning the cat to us allows us to appropriately rehome the cat.
—Sarah Tongue, Volunteer Coordinator, Robin’s Nest Rescued Cat Adoptions, Niskayuna, New York

As I briefly talked to a lady about my cats, she told me that if her cat ever caught a mouse she would kill the cat. I told her that it's totally normal for a cat to catch and kill a mouse—and killing a cat was a felony, and she could get jail time and/or a stiff fine. She walked away in a huff. I still pray for her cat's safety.
—A. Attura , Independent Rescuer, Arlington, Virginia

Honestly, we had a man bring in his dog because it loved him too much. After the relinquishment paperwork was completed, the animal behaviorist and I were shocked to be asked if we had any dogs he could look at for adoption. Instead of getting angry and scolding him, we very nicely told him yes, but they would all love him just as much (if not more), as they had been abandoned and probably needed more love.
—Tanya Morris, Front Desk Supervisor, Roanoke Valley SPCA, Roanoke, Virginia

We seized two starving dogs from a guy, and his response was, "If I could get government assistance for my dogs like I do my kids, I could feed them." I swallowed hard, put the guy on hold and laughed until my sides ached. Food stamps for dogs! Now I think I've heard it all.
—Gabby Evans, director, Stephen Memorial Animal Shelter, Oskaloosa, Iowa

I keep my cool by losing myself or being self-absorbed in my work and talking to citizens as much as possible so they know about the work we do. For fun I hide from the supervisor as I am doing my duties; he is new!
—John Good, Animal Caretaker, Fairfax County, Fairfax, Virginia

We have a spay/neuter program. I was talking to a gentleman on the phone; after a while he would not answer me, and there was an odd rustling noise heard in the background. He must [talking while on the toilet] and thus had a delayed reaction to answering me because he then flushed. … I once again verified the information and told him (quickly) to have a nice day and to call back if he had any questions. I could not stop being grossed out and laughing all at the same time. ... I love my job!
—Cheryl Mee, Customer Service Specialist, Lee County Domestic Animal Services, Fort Myers, Florida

To keep our cool is the hardest thing at times, but we have to … for the animals. I just keep saying to myself over and over, "You cannot expect great things from small minds." Keeping a smile on my face helps me stay focused on the rescue at hand.
—Kim Cupples, Volunteer, Hampshire County Pet Adoption Program, Winchester, Virginia

I went to a home to pick up two adult standard poodles and two standard pups, 7 months old. The adult male was tied to a tree, and the female and pups were in a round, makeshift pen full of water, dried food, urine, and feces. My volunteer and I kept a smile on our faces, and our mouths shut. The pups were jumping on the side of the pen, and nasty stuff was flying everywhere. The pups had never been groomed. We waved goodbye and smiled and thanked them for the poodles. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do, being civil to this woman. The pups were throwing up round worms 12 inches long, and they all smelled really bad.
—S. Melissa Bass, Founder and President, Heart of America Poodle & Friends k9 Rescue Inc., Moscow Mills, Missouri

I very calmly asked if when they applied for the apartment and the landlord said that kids were not allowed, would they have still moved in and gotten rid of their kids. An animal is the same kind of commitment. The girl said that she had not thought of it that way and decided to look for a different place to live so she could keep her animals. She has now become one of our best volunteers.
—Brenda Jones, Operations Manager, Mission Valley Animal Shelter, Polson, Montana

I almost blew a gasket when a client told me that he wanted to adopt my favorite dog in the shelter and keep him out in the yard as a guard dog. I wanted to throw him out of the shelter and promptly add him to our DNA list, but instead I pulled him into a meet-and-greet room and had a discussion with him. I calmly explained that we only adopt dogs to live a mostly indoor life with their new families. I also explained that dogs kept outdoors do not deter criminals, because the home was not protected inside. In the end, he agreed with me and brought his 5-year-old son in to pick out a new companion. I was able to keep my cool by remembering that many people simply need some humane education, and that with that knowledge, they may become good adopters!
—Katy Fuerst, Adoptions Supervisor, Cleveland Animal Protective League, Cleveland, Ohio

A phrase that a member of the Humane Society suggested we use when folks are being difficult is, "Pray for me that I can do better." It doesn't admit fault and is laced with a touch of sarcasm, but also shows that we are human and are doing the best we can in a difficult situation.
—Sheila Eggers, Administrative Assistant, Wilkes County Animal Control, Wilkesboro, North Carolina

A woman and her son came in to adopt a female hamster for their male. The mother wanted her son to experience baby animals. Sadly, they had traveled over an hour to come to the shelter instead of going to a pet store. I took a deep breath, kept my body relaxed and my voice calm. I explained we couldn’t adopt out an animal that was meant to be bred. The woman was furious, the boy practically in tears, but I wasn't going to engage and create a negative scene for him to learn from. I apologized for their frustration and thanked them for coming to the shelter first. All I can hope is that they walked away questioning their plan to breed their hamster. On the other hand, I felt good knowing our hamster would end up a pet and not an endless mother.
—Jessica Osier, Adoptions Assistant, Marin Humane Society, Novato, California